G.

我不是那種很喜歡溝通的人.

也許我覺得觀察最重要.人家不一定要說出什麽,但我可以感覺得到.

是我太敏感嗎.那爲什麽別人就不可以敏感一點.

有些話不知道怎麽說出口.說不出口的話怎麽就不會被瞭解.

不知道怎麽收拾殘局.而且我决定不去收拾.

這個世界不是適合我生存的地方,從來我就覺得是這樣.

我不想看報紙不想看新聞,別人的事我基本上沒有興趣知道.

看到的事情多了反而禳自己活在恐懼之中.

難道媒體報導披露的事就是真相嗎,又或者我一定要遵從這些說法嗎.

我拒絕.

我也沒辦法去說服誰接受自己.我就只好堅持做著自己.

傷害到別人也不是我故意的,只是有人偏偏對我操心過度.

除了感謝,我還想請您只爲自己著想好了.

而我即使是無法順應這個社會也照樣可以很開心.我有我自己的精神世界.

起碼在我沒有生存壓力之前不會受到影響.至少讓我先開心吧.

就覺得像是在看自己的日記.因為是同個星座,常常會覺得跟你很像.

心情喜歡大起大落,開心的時候真的很開心,突然之間也會很絕望.

還好都是情緒而已,很快又沒事了^^

我已經習慣監視了||| 他們都這麽說我----=_=;;;

下午看到大叔在哈士奇那裡的留言,就很順手點開來看之前的history.

但我很乖的,我只是悄悄在觀察,我...壞事只做一次-_-

和另一個你就不像了.可能是因爲完全不像所以更被吸引吧.

好久沒有見過,也不知道你過得好不好.

如果有機會還是想要再見,我常常都會哼起那段歌...

然後我的心裡會永遠有你的位置呀~

每次回到家之後就不想總是對著電腦,每次在家對著電腦就不想出門;;;

人生永遠都是充滿矛盾的啊-_-

想著要常常寫blog的我因爲懶惰也因爲覺得無事可寫就很久才寫一次了.

實際上現在也覺得沒什麽可寫的.

生活上有些細節或者感觸,在那一瞬間浮現在腦子裡的話到了現在就覺得沒必要.

最近熱衷於這些事情:反復聽同樣的幾首歌;看書;看"偶像軍團紅了她"2PM系列;上課.

很難得我一點都不抗拒去上課,因爲終於可以學自己喜歡的東西.反而更開心.

這種感覺是無法言喻的,是這個世界上最美好的事情之一.

儘管如此我還是偶爾會覺得鬱悶啊TT_TT

外在的快樂都不是太容易得到,真不曉得所謂的喜悅是要到達什麽境界才能體會到?

嗯...blue是不對的.遠離blue.

我跟俊秀嫂的接頭暗號!!

- What time is it now?

- It's 2PM!!

暗號都公開了那我們以後還有秘密嗎＼(˚ Д˚)/ ...

最近此人瘋狂迷戀2PM的西雅圖隊長;;;所以我也跟隨著她玩一下;;;

今天正雨大叔推薦一首歌好好聽.是Luther Vandross的I'd rather.

"I'd Rather"  Luther Vandross

I thought sometime alone
was what we really needed
you said this time would hurt more than it helps
but I couldn't see that
I thought it was the end
of a beautiful story
and so I left the one I loved at home to be alone (alone)
and I tried to find
out if this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoo-oo-oo-oo yeah

And then I met someone
and thought she could replace you
we got a long just fine
we wasted time because she was not you
we had a lot of fun
though we knew we were faking
love was not impressed with our connection they were all lies, all lies
so I'm here cause I found this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
who holds my heart

I can't blame you if you turn away from me, like I've done you,
I can only prove the things I say with time,
please be mine,

I'd rather have bad times with (please be mine) you,
than good times with someone else (I know)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (anytime),
than safe and warm by myself (so sure baby)
I'd rather have hard times to gether,
than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart (my heart)

I'd rather have bad times with you (surely),
than good times with someone else (surely)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (oh yeah),
than safe and warm by myself (all by myself)
I'd rather have hard times together,
than to have it easy apart (you know it)
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart

I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoooo.....who holds my heart

很喜歡高潮那段~很真摯的感情啊><

我比起跟其他人度過愉快的時光,更喜歡陪你度過不好的日子
我比起自己處在安全又溫暖的地方,更想陪你在暴風雨中
我比起過得順利,更想一起度過困境
(↑ 正雨大叔翻譯的~)

誰來唱給我聽吧!!我真喜歡唱歌好聽的男孩XD

全身充滿了負能量.

看了魚給我的書之後,道理記住了,卻更難理解當中的意思,反而更陷進迷惑裡.

今天有幾件事情讓我感覺不快,我嘗試用書中所說的方法去釋放壞心情,非但沒有好轉,竟然愈發感到難過.因爲我道行還不夠高,因爲我根本沒有去消化那些故事,因爲我並沒有接受和面對.

這些都需要時間的.這樣想想的話會好受一點.

換個角度想問題,換來換去其實還是有點不甘.我的小我還是很膨脹.

我覺得委屈得有點想哭,後來又還是算了,我還是跟原來一樣沒有變.

從來就不覺得自己正常過,卻硬要在表面上迎合著道德常規,掩藏真實的另一面.

雖然我也有在追求所謂的品牌,學歷,甚至是對象;;;但內心裡這些對我來說就是個屁.

我臣服於這樣的現實,但又並不是心甘情願.我就說,我道行還差很遠.

那天魚跟我說了一件讓她感到沮喪的事,我安慰她的時候覺得自己境界很高.

但我同時也說了,也許是因爲最近沒發生什麽讓我難過的事吧;;;

果然就是這樣,當自己面對問題,往往很難接受很難放下,這是一道很深奧的題目.

我要努力學習之. 給我時間.

就是時間讓我懂得,有的事情在過了很久之後,你才能最終體會到它的好.

想了幾天,還是决定回到這裡. 換了很多聽似讓人迷戀的歌,還是要把P團的重新灌進MP3.

那麽多的好,在當下來不及一一發現.

總是回望以前,幻想未來.真實活著的這一刻,我又在做著什麽呢?